I am the single girl.  You know how there are some girls that always, ALWAYS, have a boyfrien – ok, I’m not one of those girls. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that men don’t like me, or that I don’t like the, but those two rarely seem to coincide.

Guy falls for me  – usually someone I like to call a friend – and seems perfect on paper…. but paper only gets you cuts and planes that don’t fly that far, not love. Or, I fall for someone – wait, I rarely fall, but I think I could fall – who is either in a relationship, not interested in me or not interestes in any kind of serious relationship at all. And my favourite one: someone who is about to go on a trip around the world with no definite return date.

Great.

This is where I am today: my ex, who stomped on my heart 3 years ago, and who I saw again a year ago, is in Asia, no idea when he’s coming back; but I know I want him here, to either see if we should give it another chance, or to get definite closer and move on.

I met someone else – the fact that I want his to come back, does not mean I won’t keep on living my life on my side of the globe. By my standars, he’s pretty close to being perfect: cute, gorgeous eyes, Belle & Sebastian fan, with a couple of Lichtenstein works hanging fromthe walls in his tiny appartment, non-smoker, great kisser, Jewish – so that takes care of half the questions my family would have -, en anesthesiologist doing his residency…

But – we all knew the BUT was coming: from what I hear, he’s what we could call a womanizer. What do I do? I say… what he hell, let’s have some fun. On the one hand, I really, REALLY like him, in case I wasn’t clear about that, and it could be a good thing for me to be aware that he might be a douche, so that my chances of being played decrease, as I am being careful. On the other hand, I can’t completely let my guard down with him and enjoy the time together because of that same fact. Because I’m careful. Because I’m scared…. I’m a coward. Because I can’t just realx and have fun with someone I like this much and not want more.

I wish he smoked, I wish he was a hip-hop fan, an accountant and his walls were plastered withpicures of Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox. It would be so much easier.

Lyrics:

They were sitting
They were sitting on the strawberry swing
Every moment was so precious

They were sitting
They were talking under strawberry swing
Everybody was for fighting
Wouldn’t wanna waste a thing

Cold, cold water bring me round
Now my feet won’t touch the ground
Cold, cold water what ya say?
When it’s such…
It’s such a perfect day
It’s such a perfect day

I remember
We were walking up to strawberry swing
I can’t wait until the morning
Wouldn’t wanna change a thing

People moving all the time
Inside a perfectly straight line
Don’t you wanna curve away?
When it’s such…
It’s such a perfect day
It’s such a perfect day

Now the sky could be blue
I don’t mind
Without you it’s a waste of time
Could be blue
I don’t mind
Without you it’s a waste of time

Could be blue,
Could be grey
Without you I’m just miles away
Could be blue
I don’t mind
Without you it’s a waste of time

So I was just reading about how Oasis (minus Noel) decided to release some of their new songs from “Dig out your soul“. What they did was get a group of street musicians fron NYC and tought them the songs before anyone else heard them.

As one of the musicians said, that’s where the songs would ultimalely end up, so why not start there. You can see them working together in the short documentary, directed by The Malloys, As Liam states, they’re all in the same boat (a few dollars appart… but same bote nonetheless…).

It’s very interesting, if you like Oasis, or if you enjoy music in general, it’s an original and amazing iniciative.

For me it’s a way of recognizing the talent these musicians have, that can match that of worldwide recognized artists such as Oasis.

He can’t read or write, but he found an amazing way of expressing himself.  Makes you think about the truth behind the theory of multiple intelligences, right?.

This seems to be therapeutic for him, he states “teachers made me fell small, so that made me feel like nothing. I’m trying to prove to the world that nothing doesn’t exist”

Here’s the talk:

(If you find that too long to watch, take a look at this, from abc news:

Amazing hu?

Here’s a gallery with some of his work.

I just finished watching Coraline, a movie by Henry Selick - also known for directing The Nightmare Before Chrsitmas – and I must say, I loved it. I’ve been wanting to watch this for a long time: I am a hugh Burton fan, and If Henry Selick worked with him, that’s enough for me. I must admit I adore watching animated movies and feeling like a kid again.

However, I don’t thing this is a kiddie movie. First of all, it has a dark side, I would even say sinister.

Basically, Coraline moves to a new city, she is bored, her parents ignore her and she wishes they were different. But as the saying goes, “be careful with what you wish for”. It came true: she goes through a small door in her house, and meets her “other mom”: she cooks her breakfast for dinner, gives her presents, everything she wanted. Her “other dad” also seems perfect at first. However, both have buttong for eyes. Which I don’t think is a minot detail: she cannot see her reflection in their eyes, she does not see what object she is for the mom.

(Scary, isn’t it?)

Maybe this is just a coincidence, but it was very interesting to me how the other father is seen riding a mechanical praying mantis – an insect who, after copulation, the female bites off the head of the male (sexy, right?). For me it goes in paralell with the devouring mom: the other mom swallows a key, one of the characters mentions that she might “eat Coraline”, and by the end of the movie de “other dad” is completely emasculated and subdued to the females desires.

It felt exactly like the mouth of the crocodile Lacan talked about: there needs to be a “stick” (the falus) that stops the mother from devouring her child, which is, at first conceives as an object meant to complete her. If we don’t come to this world as an object of desire for someone, it’s impossible for us to become subjects. But we mustn’t stay attached to that alienated position, our mother (or whoever plays that role in our lives) must know when and how to let go. It’s not about loving too much or too little, it’s about just enough. As Winicott said, the “good enough mom”.

I digress. Back to Coraline.

Another theme that is very present is desire. She believes she can have happiness in that paralell world, but she finds that is not so: to be complete is an imposibility, if don’t lack anything, we desire for nothing, and what would drive us to live then? I wish I always have a desire to drive me.

I had a lot of thoughts while watching the movie… I’ll update this later if I remember!! But to sum up: watch it, if any of what I said makes sense or if you think I am totally delusional, let me know!

It’s on Youtube as well:

And if that didn’t do it for you, this should:

Like that? I am holding the book “Sunny Side Down”. If you liked those, you will LOVE the book.  I highly recommend it!

One more, enjoy!:

I am seriously thinking it would be a great investment to make a line of designer Masks. With drawings, words, flags, etc. Somebody has to win with this outbreak, right?

“You are so smart!”

“You are Jewish”

“You are MY daughter”

What if I don’t want to be those things? Do we even have a choice?

I woun’t keep you in suspense: Yes, we do.

True: at first we become alienated by that which the Others (our mother, our father, sitter, whoever takes the role of that significant Other) say we are, pointing at a seemingly unified image in the mirror, and we become that. That is a lovable image.

Or maybe not… maybe they tell us we are useless, ugly, etc. We can become alienated to that image as well. Even though it does not seem like a good thing, it still gives us a place in the world.

To make a long story short, we reside in that spot someone pointed out for us for  a while. Maybe forever if we are confortable. But some of us find that there’s something odd about it, that not everything about us fits into that image we built, or was built for us.

We might have, what they call “Panick attacks”, symptoms, etc. But we know womething doesn’t add up. That’s when that, ”I know who I am” we used to fall back on, turns into, “I don”t know who I am”, and then a question.

Some people answer it through psychoanalysis, some people do it by themselves through art, or other type of acts. But we come out of that process stronger, no dounbt about that, we might not get all the answers, but we know we can’t have them all. The fiction is over and we can just be.